QUOTE(misschickie @ Jul 20 2007, 02:04 AM)
I haven't seen that one in ages...I gotta get the dvd's. I have said it once and I'll say it again, I LOVE comic book guy...
Bart sees a sign in the Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card
Shop window
Bart: (Gasps) 99 cents.
(Bart enters shop)
Bart: I want to buy a copy of Bonestorm, here's 99 cents.
CBG: Huh. Allow me to summarise the proposed transaction. You
wish to purchase Bonestorm for 99 cents, net profit to
me, negative 59 dollars.
(CBG opens the till)
CBG: Oh, oh, please take my 59 dollars, I don't want it, it's
yours.
(Bart reaches for the money)
CBG: Er, er, er. Seeing as we are unfamiliar with sarcasm, I
shall close the register at this point, and state that
99 cents is the rental price.
Bart: Oh, then may I please rent it, please?
CBG: No you may not, I am all out, though I do have a surprising
amount of Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.
Bart: Aww.
Bart: Cool! I'll give you ten bucks for that.
CBG: Are you the creator of Hi and Lois because you are
making me laugh. That drawing is worth exactly 750
dollars American.
Bart: It's valuable, huh?!
CBG: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I
can't allow you to waste them here when there are
so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment.
Go, go, for the good of the city.
Bart: Loser.
At 'Miscellaneous Etc.' gadget store
CBG: Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote
unquote, Ultimate Belt.
Storekeeper: I see, do you have a receipt, quote unquote,
sir?
CBG: I do not have a receipt, I won it as a door
prize at the Star Trek convention, although
I find their choice of prize highly illogical
as the average Trekker has no use for a
medium-sized belt.
Storekeeper: Whoa, whoa. A fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You
must be a devil with the ladies.
CBG: Hey, I... Huh... Tha... Oh...
Storekeeper: Gee, I hate to let you down Casanova, but uh, no
receipt, no return.
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
CBG: Very well. I must hurry back to my comic book
store, where I dispense the insults rather than
absorb them.
an untapped resource of great quotes
toodle----ooh.