So he just wants to sleep with other women. He NEVER loved me. I will never understand why I wasn't enough. But in all honesty I do not think he will ever attempt to come back to me. I would never take him back anyway...for the simple fact that I couldn't handle knowing he slept around.

But again thank you...seriously in my weak moments I will think about your encouraging words. As I really do not have many male perspectives on this.

Amen Bondi

Sweetheart you always have a crew of friends and admirers here. No need to even get naked for us. You can always come here to shoot the shit with us

Don't let your bad experience with guys taint the whole batch for you. There are always bad fucking apples in a vat. You explained it yourself why he is a useless waste of space and not even worth you time or after-thought.

If I Lived closer I would have to impose my will on this useless fuck just for the simple fact he laid a hand on you at all. Punk mother fucker.

A beautiful woman like you deserves to be catered to and pampered .. not to have to drag some god damned lame ass lump of shit through his life.

You are way better than that goofball will ever be hon.

God damn this dude has made me so mad .. I would dress up as a clown and beat this fucking guy senseless with a 12 inch rubber cock cackling all the time I was whipping ass just so he would have to explain it to people ....

That a maniacal laughing clown kicked his ass with a 12 inch dildo!!!

Don't waste any more time on this guy sweetheart and god dammit go grab a bite to eat. Don't starve yourself

Hope you come back for visits hon or stay a while

I never said he never loved you, I wouldn't know? I just know people first hand that have copped the same sort of treatment and abuse as you and this is a carbon copy.

Glad to hear that motherfucker will never be close with you again, he doesn't even begin to deserve it.

Any time you need male perspective just float it by the guys here. i mean I wouldn't trust dd35 or evade but the rest of us would be happy to help

Comedy... makes you wanna tear this guy apart doesn;t it?

wow, that was a lot for you to go through DY.
I don't have a lot of wisdom to impart that hasn't been said, but if this douche bag spent all his time playing counter strike and had no ambition for school, a job or his life despite your encouragement, you are far better off without him.
It's unfortunate that you feel the way you do about all guys now, but it may have a silver lining. Too many women(and guys too) who break off relationships seem to grasp at the first person they see out of desperation for companionship and it often ends in heartbreak. In your case it's good that you're embracing your individuality and living for yourself. FInd out who you really are and what you really want in a mate and I'm sure down the road you will find the person who will make you happy for the rest of your life.

And Cman, your bit about dressing up as a clown beating the fuck out of him with a dildo had me laughing my ass off! That's gotta be used in a movie somewhere.

*amen*

After trying for about 10 minutes to come up with a touching, witty and / or insightful post... I failed miserably.

So, back to my style.

You are a very nice person. Scumbags do not deserve nice people like you. You owe him nothing, so never feel like you do. Starting over gives you a new shot-Be very happy with your own self and your own capabilities. Your potential is now no longer anchored by dead weight... so embrace your new freedom and be everything you want to be...and more!
And on a sidenote... I cant see why anyone wouldn't want to be around you all the time... if you have the sweet demeanour that you show on here you'd be an awesome person to be around... And you should enjoy others' company as well.

Just keep being you!

I think I have seen that DVD

Personally, I think he's already inflicted the most harsh punishment upon himself - for moreso than a prison full of clowns with oversized sexual implements, or what have you. And that's the simple fact that he both knowingly and willingly turned his back on someone like DY, who cared so much about him and gave so much of herself, in order to chase random sex.

He's now on his own by his own choice, without DY to care if he even wakes up anymore.

Sucks to be him for that reason on its own as far as I'm concearned.

-Jak

Ok now you just made me smile and I can't be happy right now. But really though...he came across as a "nice guy"...he had me and my family fooled. And whenver an "incident" occured...it was always an accident or he didnt know his own strength. So during the time I was with him I never even thought twice about it. But your clown thing...now that is clever. LOL.

Yes this is the HARDEST thing I have ever been through. And Ive been through some things, but this is most difficult (not sure why,but it feels that way). I would much rather be alone..to grieve over this loss. But also b/c both my ex's changed who I was also. I HATE heavy metal music, I can't stand people who swear constantly, I do not like drinking, and hatred toward random people I also have no patience for. This is what both my ex's were like...and now I am free from thier trashy ways!!!! Now I can be myself for real. Hmmmm...and first thing I need to do is buy a 12 inch dildo and a clown costume... Sorry had to throw that in there.....

Well here is a real life example to prove your theory correct. This is the first semester in my whole college career that I am single. And my professor came up to me and told me that I was "off to a really really really great start" and that felt awesome..b/c he is hard to impress. I feel so focused now...w/o having to worry about HIM 24/7...Once the pain goes away I will be just fine. And thank you I really mean it....but I am kinda fun to be around...

Funny isn't it? He now lives with his mommy...and lives on the couch. His mom lives in a dead end town...whereas my apartment is right in the city. So I'm sure he knew what he was doing...now he doesn't have to worry about bills or any other "adult" responsibilities...

DY,
Sorry to hear about your breakup. As the others have said here, I think in the longrun it will be a great thing for you even if it hurts now. You have a lot of support here from some very nice people. We can all help you get through this.

Hold your head up high and know that you are a beautiful girl inside and out. In time you will feel better. In the meantime if there is anything we can do, just drop us a line. We are your friends here.

Cman I'll hold the asshole down while you beat him. When you get tired, lend me the costume and I pick up where you left off.

here's a prototype of the clown clostume

Okay. I'm coming in late on this, but here I go anyway.. just cuz there's a soft spot in my heart for you DY

But first I must say:

1) who knew Bondi had insight like that? I thought he was just a simpsons encyclopedia.

2) who knew Gnappy had insight like that? I thought he was just a simpsons encyclopedia.

3) CM, that was fucking Hilarious!!!! the clown beating story was great... but the reasoning behind it is killer... just so he has to tell the story. I love it. But then you go and edit a picture and post it. You are tops, man!! Well done!!

Okay, DY, here's my dribble for ya. I won't rehash all the good things that everyone else here has told you. but I will point out one or two things that everyone missed. and as a side note, since 7th grade all my really close friends have been female, so I hvae a lot of background with this kind of thing.

Your post that explains what happened also explains the "why." You said (through inferences anyway) that this guy was basically a loser with no direction. His family was not a positive influence in the get a life department and aspirations likely were never anything he was brought up with. So now here comes you, a gorgoeous, fun-loving girl with personality and wit who actually gives a shit about him. It seems like he sees being with you as work. He can be with you and go to classes, get a job, be in an intelligent adult relationship as opposed to a few week relationship built on nothing more deep than physical attraction... or he can live status quo with his mom where there are no demands or expectations. He has lived his life surrounded by people who just don't give a shit. I betcha his dad abused his mother and that's why he thought it was okay to abuse you. And look at where his mom ended up... believing she was no better than working a shithole job and living in a dead-end area. looking at his life with his parents is like looking in the crystal ball for his future life. He is going nowhere... and he chooses to go nowhere. Status quo is easy for him and that's all that will ever make him happy. Aspiring anything more would be work for him and he's never had to work for anything before because his parents probably never gave a shit anyway. His complacency will never change.

Now, as for the 3-some thing 2 weeks later. I guarantee he had that set up before he left... that probalby was the stimulus to his leaving. He saw an opportunity and he saw you as a roadblock. Because he has no perception of a normal human being's feelings he acted on impulse and took the shortest route to acheiving his goal of hanging out with those girls. He couldn't work his way into that 3some with you around, hence his comment about having to spend so much time with you, so he decided to remove the obstacle... you.

Now, you can continue to look in the past all you want... that will help you to understand the pain... but that's only half of it. The most important thing you need to figure out is how to deal with and get over the pain... which is all things you must do in the future.. Rehashing and sorting out the details is not pain relief... it is only pain disclosure.

You next step is to find what makes YOU happy!!! and making others happy is not the right answer. if you like to read, then read. If you like to take nude pictures of yourself and post them here, then do just that. if you like to meet new people for the sake of friendship, then do that and enjoy that knowing that you're buidling alliances/comrades for all situations, good and bad. I would also suggest prayer and meditation

I think a good next step would be to take your classes and enjoy that, along with reading and other activities you like. Confide and take comfort in your family... who will ALWAYS be there for you. Meet friends at school. Study-buddies are a great way to meet people. and a bit of advice about meeting people at school. If a guy from class asks you out, he's likely only attracted to you phsycially. If a guy from class wants to study with you, or sit with you at lunch and have an actual give-and-take conversation, he's likely after attracted to you intellectually... and physically (any man would be a complete fool not to be attracted to you phsycially).

Okay. I should probably end this cuz this post is getting long (even for me). And the bossman is lurking around the corner and I know he knows I'm on the Internet screwing around instead of actually working.

Look how many people are here who care about you, DY. you're a great person. Dont give anyone the power to make you think otherwise and certainly don't let anyone but you control your mood.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

...Just pretend I said a good chunk of that too

And on another note...

I'm pretty sure (like 99%) that if you ask any one of us you'd find that if you had any problem... you could talk to any of us and we'd be an ear to you. I'm 100% positive that I would be willing... Cman would too just because he's Cman... anyone who comes up with murderous clowns has to be trustworthy

"Don't worry be happy"

Well said Dr. Bob

Regaining your sense of humour is a great start



Your funniest post ever C Man



I guess I'm a little from column A and a little from column B

Lvry boy...you could just give him a mean look and he would wet himself...hes too much of a coward in all honesty..LOL..

Thank you for giving me support....thank you very much.

Bobaloo...I am just moved to tears by your post. I do not think a therapist could have been more perceptive.

My ex (let's call him S) actually lost his dad last october to a drug overdose. His dad had a very nasty habit. And his family (mom and sisters) was never that friendly with me at all...in fact once before they called me "prissy" to my face! Unreal. Here I took S and transformed him so much, I suspect his mom was a little jealous...could be wrong though.

My Grandfather is a preacher and I went with him to church the other day. It was so soothing. Now I can go and enjoy myself b/c 'S' NEVER wanted to go to church. He thinks religion is a crutch, how sad is that? He needs something to believe in more than anyone right now.

He may have had that threesome lined up, maybe not...but I know that I do not need to behave in such a way. I want to reflect.

My mother is shocked also as I am. She saw how hard he was trying and his transformation was remarkable..but he just had a "meltdown". Now on his myspace his slogan is "beer and boobs"....he sure is a classy guy isnt he?

We just came back from the beach tonight (mom, sis and I) and as we were laying out a man near us was asking my mom about me. When my sister and I went to the water he asked my mom how old I was, what I was studying and was I wearing sunscreen (Im pale and I did get burnt badly actually). Anyway he is in his mid thirties, a financial manager of sorts...it was really neat that such a great guy was interested in me I think!

So what Ive learned from this really bobaloo is that people cannot change. 'S' comes from a bad family and that is WHO he is. I am not to blame, he is just who he is.

Thank you Mr.Trent. And as emotional as this sounds...this website is filled with such wonderful caring people. I am so lucky to have met them. And if I can help in any way with anyone please ask. I love to listen! Reading all these posts the past few days really has given me strength through this.