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Member No.: 21984 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 21984 Posts: 281 Joined: 05/2007
▫ May 14 2007, 04:12 Post #361
:lol: :lol: :lol: I'm loving his thread, Thankyou to all you have posted some great laughs so far!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bouncey
Member No.: 7752 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 7752 Posts: 726 Joined: 05/2005
▫ May 20 2007, 00:41 Post #362
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument

about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex
more
than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about

this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle
it
around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your
finger?"
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ May 20 2007, 18:19 Post #363
QUOTE(rdmoscow1808)
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument

about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex
more
than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"

"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about

this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle
it
around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your
finger?"

:roflmao: love that one!
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ May 20 2007, 18:23 Post #364
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed
that he was still there.
Member No.: 11658 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 11658 Posts: 21,459 Joined: 11/2005
▫ May 20 2007, 18:32 Post #365
QUOTE(misschickie)
Friendship Between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed
that he was still there.


Men are all liars.... :lol: :bang:
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ May 20 2007, 18:45 Post #366
QUOTE(evade20)
Men are all liars.... :lol:   :bang:


but, completely irresistible! :wub:
Member No.: 7752 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 7752 Posts: 726 Joined: 05/2005
▫ May 20 2007, 18:51 Post #367
QUOTE(misschickie)
but, completely irresistible!   :wub:


ok...how did you know??? I am a completely irresistable liar....
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Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ May 20 2007, 20:44 Post #368
QUOTE(rdmoscow1808)
ok...how did you know??? I am a completely irresistable liar....


mmmm....really....
how sad that that made me hot! there is something wrong with me! lol
not to mention a Texan :wub: ....got a soft spot for Texans!
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ May 20 2007, 20:55 Post #369
A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he’s going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter.

"My darling," he writes, "it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and we’re constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation’s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them."

His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, "Why don’t you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife. "Darling" he says, "I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!"

But she stops him with a wave of her hand. "First, let’s see how well you play that harmonica."
Member No.: 11658 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 11658 Posts: 21,459 Joined: 11/2005
▫ May 22 2007, 11:30 Post #370
HAROLD THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ‘ID ten T’ error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ‘ID ten T error’? What's that - in case I need to fix it again?"

Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ‘ID ten T’ errors before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down. I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold... :ph34r:
Member No.: 7752 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 7752 Posts: 726 Joined: 05/2005
▫ May 22 2007, 18:50 Post #371
QUOTE(evade20)
HAROLD THE COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over.    Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.     He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ‘ID ten T’ error." 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ‘ID ten T error’? What's that - in case I need to fix it again?" 

Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ‘ID ten T’ errors before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote it down.     I D 1 0 T 

I used to like Harold... :ph34r:


:thumbup: :thumbup: :roflmao: :roflmao: that was good!!
Member No.: 7752 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 7752 Posts: 726 Joined: 05/2005
▫ May 30 2007, 01:41 Post #372
An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get

married.

She said: I want to keep my house.

He said that's fine with me.

She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.

He said: That's fine with me.

She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week.

He said: That's fine with me......Put me down for

Fridays..
Member No.: 18214 View profile Log in to message
A Cup
Member No.: 18214 Posts: 87 Joined: 10/2006
▫ Jun 6 2007, 20:30 Post #373
Apologies if i've offended any men here, but I couldn't resist it !

Member No.: 14606 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 14606 Posts: 28,387 Joined: 04/2006
▫ Jun 7 2007, 12:57 Post #374
QUOTE(betty)
Apologies if i've offended any men here, but I couldn't resist it !



thats what Im talking about in babys thread !!!!!! :P :roflmao:
Member No.: 14606 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 14606 Posts: 28,387 Joined: 04/2006
▫ Jun 7 2007, 13:18 Post #375
>>> > A very attractive blonde woman from Iowa arrived at a casino and
>>> >bet
>>> >twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
>>> >She
>>> >
>>> >said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
>>> >completely nude."
>>> >
>>> >With that, she stripped from
>>>the neck down, rolled the dice and
>>> >yelled,
>>> >
>>> >"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
>>> >
>>> >As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...
>>> >"YES!
>>> >YES! I WON, I WON!"
>>> >
>>> >She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and
>>> >her
>>> >
>>> >clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other
>>> >dumbfounded.
>>> >
>>> >Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered,
>>> >"I
>>> >
>>> >don't know - I thought you were watching."
>>> >
>>> >Moral - Not all Iowans are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but
>>> >all
>>> >men are men.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Jun 7 2007, 15:15 Post #376
QUOTE(ddd35)
>>> > A very attractive blonde woman from Iowa arrived at a casino and
>>> >bet
>>> >twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
>>> >She
>>> >
>>> >said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
>>> >completely nude."
>>> >
>>> >With that, she stripped from
>>>the neck down, rolled the dice and
>>> >yelled,
>>> >
>>> >"Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
>>> >
>>> >As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...
>>> >"YES!
>>> >YES! I WON, I WON!"
>>> >
>>> >She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and
>>> >her
>>> >
>>> >clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other
>>> >dumbfounded.
>>> >
>>> >Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered,
>>> >"I
>>> >
>>> >don't know - I thought you were watching."
>>> >
>>> >Moral - Not all Iowans are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but
>>> >all
>>> >men are men.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta.

:roflmao: :roflmao:
Member No.: 14606 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 14606 Posts: 28,387 Joined: 04/2006
▫ Jun 7 2007, 18:05 Post #377
QUOTE(misschickie)
:roflmao:   :roflmao:

well as a man I can even say this is true !!!!!!!
Member No.: 7752 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 7752 Posts: 726 Joined: 05/2005
▫ Jul 3 2007, 10:29 Post #378
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom
loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into
a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the
chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to
no avail, for he had gone to town with the only
tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new
Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken
sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had
time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was
surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the
shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop
of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the
farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward
and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to
the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when
he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:
Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit,
and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the
horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled
the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his
hangy - down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him
up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A
Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
Member No.: 21497 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 21497 Posts: 141 Joined: 04/2007
▫ Jul 3 2007, 10:44 Post #379
QUOTE(rdmoscow1808)
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom
loved to play together.
One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into
a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the
chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the
farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to
no avail, for he had gone to town with the only
tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new
Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken
sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had
time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was
surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the
shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop
of rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the
farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward
and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the
horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to
the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when
he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented:
Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit,
and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the
horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled
the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his
hangy - down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him
up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A
Harley To Pick Up Chicks!


But it wouldn't hurt to have one anyway!
Member No.: 11658 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 11658 Posts: 21,459 Joined: 11/2005
▫ Jul 3 2007, 12:46 Post #380
QUOTE(aimee2)
But it wouldn't hurt to have one anyway!


I'd like to see Aimee riding a Harley naked! :niceones: :niceones:

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