QUOTE(closeup @ Nov 30 2005, 06:33 PM)
You'd be the perfect customer for our advice column. The less you like Christmas, the more you'll want to save. Another tip: You know those big red kettles you see in the malls around Christmas? They're full of cash! That guy standing there ringing the bell is too busy checking out all the hot women walking by to pay any attention to you. You'll only have a few seconds, so go for the tens and twenties.
Yeah, I saw one of those kettles the other day at the grocery store with a rather portly gentleman standing next to it. I know i'm no marathon runner, but I'd be willing to bet the 10's and 20's in that bucket that I coulda grabbed that thing and already been depositing it before he coulda given much chase...
However, in the chance that i did tumble to the ground in my hastey escape, that rather portly gentleman (who could've been a linebacker back in the day for all I know) probably woulda made certain that I would be enjoying Christmas dinner through a straw this year...