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Jokes, anyone got any good ones to tell?
rdmoscow1808 |
Oct 12 2007, 09:30 AM
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QUOTE(aimee2 @ Oct 10 2007, 10:44 PM) Bears & Beer A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, 'We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings .' The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, 'We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings .' The bear, very angry now, says, 'If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar.' The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings .' The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, 'Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.' The bear says, 'I'm NOT on drug s.' The bartender says, 'You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.
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TiGGrrr |
Oct 24 2007, 03:42 PM
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Apr 14 2006, 10:36 AM) Or... What do you call a deer with no eyes no-eyed deer. ( you have to say it out loud to make it funny. being from the south would help too) And if it has no legs ? Still no-eyed Deer Attached image(s)
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TiGGrrr |
Oct 24 2007, 03:58 PM
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QUOTE(TiGGrrr @ Oct 24 2007, 03:42 PM) And if it has no legs ? Still no-eyed Deer A women went to the doctors, as she was having trouble in the pussy department. After asking her a few questions the doctor asked her to jump up on the bed and spread her legs !! She jumped up and the doctor came over and started examining her, Ahhh !!! said the doctor I can see your problem straight away, your aviarys have got to come out, The women looked up at the doctor with a puzzled expresion on her face and said "don't you mean my ovaries" To which the doctor replied no your aviarys "THERE HAS BEEN A COCK'ATOO UP HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Attached image(s)
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 02:26 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 01:45 AM) Q.Why don't women need a watch? A.There's a clock on the stove. Classy
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 02:42 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 02:38 AM) LOL sorry.... it is funny though. I have a million of them no need to apologize man, i can't remember that last time anything offended me...i just like saying classy ironically
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bondiguy |
Nov 30 2007, 02:45 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Nov 30 2007, 05:42 PM) no need to apologize man, i can't remember that last time anything offended me...i just like saying classy ironically touche.... Q.Why are women's feet smaller than men's? A. So they can stand closer to the sink
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 02:49 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 02:45 AM) touche.... Q.Why are women's feet smaller than men's? A. So they can stand closer to the sink haha, but as terrible as it may make me seem I think the black eye one you posted somewhere else I saw was funnier, even though I'd heard it before. That's what I get for being from a small hick town
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bondiguy |
Nov 30 2007, 02:51 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Nov 30 2007, 05:49 PM) haha, but as terrible as it may make me seem I think the black eye one you posted somewhere else I saw was funnier, even though I'd heard it before. That's what I get for being from a small hick town The more sexist or racist the joke is... the funnier. It is just a fact of life haha
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 02:56 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 02:51 AM) The more sexist or racist the joke is... the funnier. It is just a fact of life haha and no matter what you say on here chances are if it ever managed to illicit any sort of bad reaction on my part your slide-show sig thing will distract me quite well. You've acquired a sort of boobomatic immunity thanks to those lovely ladies
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 03:11 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 03:07 AM) Yes sir... these lovely ladies have my back and I hope to have theirs one day! hmmm, a back-man odd most guys are boob or ass or leg men, hell who we kiddin most of us are just horny bastards. Also it may be odd but once I whip the drool from my mouth on some of those sig pictures around here I wonder if the fine ladies had to be responsible for writing on themselves... if so that's quite the talent and if not I'd like to point out I have excellent penmanship.
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bondiguy |
Nov 30 2007, 03:15 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Nov 30 2007, 06:11 PM) hmmm, a back-man odd most guys are boob or ass or leg men, hell who we kiddin most of us are just horny bastards. Also it may be odd but once I whip the drool from my mouth on some of those sig pictures around here I wonder if the fine ladies had to be responsible for writing on themselves... if so that's quite the talent and if not I'd like to point out I have excellent penmanship. I am definitely the latter and yes, I have often wondered that... I can barely write my own name on a piece of paper.... probably should stop drinking beforehand
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 03:22 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 03:15 AM) I am definitely the latter and yes, I have often wondered that... I can barely write my own name on a piece of paper.... probably should stop drinking beforehand yeah don't tell any women that may need the help (as I'm sure they are so short on volunteers to write on their amazing breasts) but my penmanship actually sucks, it was a lie a terrible lie and I cannot live with it on my....what's that thing called again? consci....damn I know this one... nevermind but that withstanding I can write my name in the snow.
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bondiguy |
Nov 30 2007, 03:24 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
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QUOTE(DoubleJ @ Nov 30 2007, 06:22 PM) yeah don't tell any women that may need the help (as I'm sure they are so short on volunteers to write on their amazing breasts) but my penmanship actually sucks, it was a lie a terrible lie and I cannot live with it on my....what's that thing called again? consci....damn I know this one... nevermind but that withstanding I can write my name in the snow. Excellent swordsmenship I take it? lol Another joke: Q. Why did the women cross the road? A. It doesn't matter, why was she out of the fucking kitchen?
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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DoubleJ |
Nov 30 2007, 03:27 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Nov 30 2007, 03:24 AM) Excellent swordsmenship I take it? lol Another joke: Q. Why did the women cross the road? A. It doesn't matter, why was she out of the fucking kitchen? When did woman get the right to cross the street unaccompanied?
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valoish |
Dec 1 2007, 03:01 PM
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valoish |
Dec 1 2007, 03:18 PM
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bondiguy |
Dec 3 2007, 12:19 AM
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I don't suffer FOOLS
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QUOTE(Kiana @ Dec 2 2007, 03:30 AM) Thanks hun! QUOTE(closeup @ Dec 2 2007, 05:32 PM) That reminds me: Why do brides always wear white? So the dishwasher will match the stove and refrigerator. Yeah I was fishing for that one in the memory bank but I couldn't quite remember it... good one though
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Bondi Approved I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck. I am smart, capable and, most importantly, I'm free in all the ways that you are not.
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misschickie |
Dec 4 2007, 01:53 AM
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MISCHIEF.MAYHEM.SOAP
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QUOTE(closeup @ Dec 3 2007, 10:41 PM) Okay, we're even. Here's one: Why can't Smokey the Bears' wife get pregnant? Every time she gets hot, he throws sand on her and beats her with his shovel. ok, that cracked me up like an egg.
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the only thing i'll ever ask of you...you gotta promise not to stop when i say when.do not try to outbitch this bitch...you will not win
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DoubleJ |
Dec 4 2007, 02:08 AM
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QUOTE(closeup @ Dec 4 2007, 01:41 AM) Okay, we're even. Here's one: Why can't Smokey the Bears' wife get pregnant? Every time she gets hot, he throws sand on her and beats her with his shovel. hey some people might be in to that sort of thing...
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DoubleJ |
Dec 4 2007, 02:16 AM
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QUOTE(misschickie @ Dec 4 2007, 02:13 AM) Is that a rake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? no pockets, i've been free from my pants for much of this evening
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