Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+ Thought Or Saying For The Day

[Gnappster]

nah, she definitely likes to keep things fresh and new...

... but you might want to tell your wife there's more to sex than doggy style... i mean, don't get me wrong, she's a freak and all and it's hot when she tells me to smack her ass, but you'd think someone that wild would be more apt to change things up 

She probably just says that to avoid having sex with you.  She never gives me that line.

She probably just likes doggy with you because she needs a deep-penetrating position like doggy just to feel you.  Perhaps if you you were a little more lengthy you could try all the crazy sexual escapades she and I get into.  And let me tell ya, Gnappy is the best camera holder a guy could ever ask for.

pulling one out of the archives

Attached image(s)

[Bobaloo]

pulling one out of the archives

Check and Mate

[bondiguy]

big surprise here... bondi and gnappy both know the lyrics to a song by the "butthole surfers" 

(bob says if you ask naraz nicely, he'll let you in their fanclub)
...i don't care what happens after this... that was a quad burn motherfuckers  

Yeah but doesn't it suck when you fuck up a burn by quoting the wrong song by the wrong band?

[Bobaloo]

Yeah but doesn't it suck when you fuck up a burn by quoting the wrong song by the wrong band?

especially when that fuckup is rather incriminating in itself.

[jrock8]

Yeah but doesn't it suck when you fuck up a burn by quoting the wrong song by the wrong band?

hey... i googled it... are you telling me that not everything on the internet is true?


...next thing you're going to say is that there's porn online too

[Bobaloo]

hey... i googled it... are you telling me that not everything on the internet is true?
...next thing you're going to say is that there's porn online too   

that's crazy talk. Porn online. Whatever. Next thing you're gonna tell me is that women can have orgasms.

[Gnappster]

that's crazy talk.  Porn online.  Whatever.  Next thing you're gonna tell me is that women can have orgasms.

I thought that too, but your wife proved to me that they can.

[Bobaloo]

I thought that too, but your wife proved to me that they can.

Nah, she probably just faked it like she does for everyone else. She's so in tune with other people's feelings.

[bondiguy]

especially when that fuckup is rather incriminating in itself.

yeah... the butthole surfers???

hey... i googled it... are you telling me that not everything on the internet is true?
...next thing you're going to say is that there's porn online too   

Well the Jackie Chan thing was true

I thought that too, but your wife proved to me that they can.

[UncleBuck]

yeah... the butthole surfers???
Well the Jackie Chan thing was true

Jackie Chan was born in Hong Kong, China (presently part of People's Republic of China). Chan is the son of Lee-Lee and Charles Chan, who emigrated to Canberra, Australia in 1960 as refugees from the Chinese Civil War. Prior to leaving China, Lee-Lee and Charles had worked as a maid and butler, respectively, for the French ambassador to Hong Kong. Chan's Chinese name at birth was Chan Kong-Sang, meaning "born in Hong Kong".

Before he adopted the Westernised name, "Jackie", he was known by a variety of other nicknames. As he was a heavy baby, (12 lb at birth, he claims to have spent 12 months in the womb), his mother nicknamed him "Pao Pao" (meaning "Cannonball"). Later, while studying at the Peking Opera School (alongside Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao) he was known as Yuen Lo, as a mark of respect to his master, Yu Jim-Yuen.

In his early stuntman and acting career (prior to New Fist of Fury in 1976) he was known as Chen Yueng Lung (or Chen Yuen Lung). He was thereafter known as "Jackie", named by his Australian co-workers when living in Australia in 1976-1977[1]. On the building site he worked on, he worked with Jack - due to the language barrier, he was known as little Jack (later shortened to Jackie). Because his father's family name was originally Fong and was changed only when arriving in Hong Kong, Chan's Chinese name was changed in family records years later to "Fong Si Lung"[2]. He has also been listed as "Sing Lung" (meaning "young dragon"), particularly in relation to his music and it may be no coincidence that his character in the film Fearless Hyena was called "Shing Lung".

Chan got his first international success with the film Drunken Master. The movie showed Wong Fei Hung, played by Chan, as a young and mischievous rascal instead of the venerable master of Kung fu that he normally was. This approach made the movie pretty radical. Another special thing about the movie was the silly antics and charm of Chan and Yuen Siu Tien (also known as Simon Yuen), father of renowned martial arts choreographer Yuen Woo-ping. The film was a big success and led the way for other international hits such as Rumble in the Bronx.

Chan married Taiwanese actress Lin Feng-Jiao (Chinese: 林鳳娇) in 1983 according to his autobiography, but many Asian sources state he was married on December 1, 1982. His official website states that he was married in 1982. Chan admitted on an interview with Indian Talk Show hostess, Simi Garewal that he married his wife because she got pregnant before marriage [3]. Chan and Lin Feng-Jiao have a son, Jaycee Chan (aka Jo-Ming), who was born on December 3, 1982, although Chan's autobiography lists his son's birth year as 1984. Chan also has a daughter, Etta Ng Chok Lam (b. November 19, 1999), as a result of an affair with Elaine Ng Yi-Lei.

He was educated at Nan Hua Elementary Academy, but his parents felt he didn't fit in at school so they sent him to the Chinese Opera Research Institute (1961-1971) and Peking Opera School. Chan was in the Seven Little Fortunes Chinese opera troupe as a youth, along with Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao and Corey Kwai.


Chan is perhaps best known for performing the majority of his own stunts, which he cheorographs along with his stunt team. Around the time of Project A in 1983, Chan officially formed the Jackie Chan Stunt Team, allowing him to train and work with a group of trusted martial artists and stuntmen for each of his ensuing movies. Chan stated that this makes it easier to choreograph fight scenes as he already has knowledge of his team's abilities. He and his team also undertake many of the more dangerous stunts for the other characters in his films. These are usually shot from behind or otherwise obscuring the faces so it is not obvious to the viewer. The dangerous nature of the stunts make it difficult for Chan to get insurance, particularly in the US, where his stunt work is contractually limited.

Chan holds the Guinness World Record for "Most Stunts By A Living Actor". The record notes that "no insurance company will underwrite Chan's productions, in which he performs all his own stunts"[4]. Chan has been injured several times during his stunts, and these are sometimes played amongst the bloopers shown over the closing credits of his later movies. He came closest to death while filming Armour of God (1985), when he fell from a tree in a relatively routine stunt and fractured his skull.

In his autobiography, Chan says he originally created his screen persona as a reaction to that of the martial artist Bruce Lee, and the numerous imitators who appeared before and after Lee's death (see "Bruceploitation"). Where Bruce Lee's characters were typically stern, morally upright heroes, Chan plays well-meaning, slightly foolish regular guys, often at the mercy of friends, girlfriends or families. However, his characters always triumph in the end.

In the 80s, he appeared in the Lucky Stars series as a supporting actor to his Peking Opera School "brother", Sammo Hung.

Chan repeatedly attempted to break into the American movie industry, appearing in movies like Battle Creek Brawl, Cannonball Run, Cannonball Run II and The Protector in the early 1980s. In the 1990s, Chan was offered two roles that would portray him as a villain, but declined both of them. His friend, Sylvester Stallone, offered Chan the role of the criminal, Simon Phoenix, in the futuristic film Demolition Man but he declined as he did not want to play a villain for fear of being typecast for any future Hollywood roles. The role was instead taken by Wesley Snipes. He also declined to play a villain in the film Lethal Weapon 4 with the role taken by Jet Li. Was approached about playing the bad guy in Rambo IV, but turned it down since he feels that a lot of kids look up to him and he wants to be a good role model. Additionally the character was a drug dealer and Jackie has a very personal reason for not wanting to play any character associated with drugs.

While he did attain cult popularity in the US, his break into the mainstream was Rumble in the Bronx in 1995. He has attained the box-office guarantee that has so far eluded other Hong Kong movie stars like Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh in Hollywood. He also made a successful animated series called Jackie Chan Adventures.

In 1994, MTV honoured Chan with a lifetime achievement award for his action-oriented movies, and a year later, he made his "official" debut in North America with a worldwide release of Rumble in the Bronx.


Chan's star on the Avenue of Stars, Hong KongChan has a star on the Avenue of Stars in Hong Kong as well as the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Chan is also a major pop star in Asia, and he released over 100 song titles in 20 albums since 1984. He sings in many different languages including English, Cantonese, Mandarin and Japanese.

As well as many on-going projects, Chan is a keen philanthropist and has worked tirelessly to champion many charity works and causes. As a well-respected figure of the Hong Kong entertainment industry, he is often one of the leaders in such works, speaking up for conservation, against animal abuse as well as promoting disaster relief efforts for flooding in mainland China and the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami. Chan helped raise thousands of US dollars, however this money was later stolen by a third party. In June, 2006, he announced that he would donate half of his assets to charity when he dies. He stated that he admired the efforts by Warren Buffett and Bill Gates to help those in need.[5]

Enough said

[bondiguy]

Yeah Buck I can use google too

I read all that on Jackie Chan and realised there was some connection with Australia having his parents live here and he lived and worked her for a period of time but it never says he became a citizen? Or if it does I missed that part...

[UncleBuck]

Yeah Buck I can use google too

I read all that on Jackie Chan and realised there was some connection with Australia having his parents live here and he lived and worked her for a period of time but it never says he became a citizen? Or if it does I missed that part...

I found nothing where it says he became a citizen, actually nowwhere have I noticed what citizenship he holds now....being from China but born in Hong ong while still under british rule would he be considered British?


lol long live google thought I had everyone fooled on how smarts I is

[boanna]

my thought of today: 

You really like me.... you all really do like me! 

my thoughts exactally!

[fellatiofiend18]

snoreeeee!!!!

hehe

[bondiguy]

I found nothing where it says he became a citizen, actually nowwhere have I  noticed what citizenship he holds now....being from China but born in Hong ong while still under british rule would he be considered British? 
lol long live google  thought I had everyone fooled on how smarts I is

You fooled no one

[jrock8]

"you will find true love on flag day"

[Gnappster]

"you will find true love on flag day"

oooh, that one's good!
all I could come up with is:
"Geese can be troublesome"

[closeup]

"You can fool all of the people some of the time,
some of the people all of the time,
but you can't fool all the people all the time."

This is by either Abe Linclon, Abe Simpson or Mark Twain. I think.

[boanna]

"you will find true love on flag day"

what the hell does that mean. i just dont get it.

[boanna]

oh, nevermind.  I had something good to say, but it's not worth trying to remember what the hell it was.  So I leave you with this pointless reply. 

That's right.  over 3000 posts and zero heart attacks... that's how much I care

Now, would anyone else care for a bite of banality

no heart attacks, but u did tie the knot (around your own neck) somewhere in those posts. u were being driven crazy and didnt even know it!?

[Gnappster]

what the hell does that mean.  i just dont get it.

me niether
but how bout:
"You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial" or
"You will invent a humorous toilet lid".

[boanna]

that's crazy talk.  Porn online.  Whatever.  Next thing you're gonna tell me is that women can have orgasms.

THATS IT BOB! IT ALL ENDS NOW!!!

I CANT BELIEVE YOU USED SUCH HOLY GROUND TO AID YOUR PERVERTED MALE HUMOR!! im gonna have to sleep on this. no punishment is too harsh for you! when it comes to me, you better be bent over and waitin, braced against the wall cause it wont be the usual sundaygotomeeting dry ass fuck! im just glad i saw this post late and not live. u should be too!

[boanna]

me niether 
but how bout:
"You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial" or
"You will invent a humorous toilet lid".

now that makes more sense, cause some of those soapy shampoo commercials go pretty far! and the humerous tolit lid....give me a few days.

[boanna]

anyway....now that i've calmed down, i just came in here to leave my thought for the day...which, by the way, might just be my next signature...so dont anyone steal it!


u know, how i'm all consumed with the whole masturbation thing.....

this one almost tops "masturbation is not a crime"

masturbation is only a sin when there's no one around to take the pics!

i dont know. maybe u had to be there.

[Gnappster]

   

THATS IT BOB!   IT ALL ENDS NOW!!!

I CANT BELIEVE YOU USED SUCH HOLY GROUND TO AID YOUR PERVERTED MALE HUMOR!!    im gonna have to sleep on this.  no punishment is too harsh for you! when it comes to me, you better be bent over and waitin, braced against the wall cause it wont be the usual sundaygotomeeting dry ass fuck!   im just glad i saw this post late and not live.  u should be too!

I can't believe bob would say such a thing!
To teach him a lesson please post a boobie pic in my 411, conveniently located here.

That is all®

[boanna]

I can't believe bob would say such a thing!
To teach him a lesson please post a boobie pic in my 411, conveniently located here.

That is all®

done.

[closeup]

me niether 
but how bout:
"You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial" or
"You will invent a humorous toilet lid".

Have you been buying your Chinese fortune cookies from the factory next door to the crack house again? I thought you learned your lesson after you got the one that read, "Elevator smells different to a midget" You couldn't figure out if they were insulting you or enlightening you.

[boanna]

Have you been buying your Chinese fortune cookies from the factory next door to the crack house again? I thought you learned your lesson after you got the one that read, "Elevator smells different to a midget"  You couldn't figure out if they were insulting you or enlightening you.

someone better throw a boobie pic in here cause the night crowd wont even know where to take this one..............

[Gnappster]

anyway....now that i've calmed down, i just came in here to leave my thought for the day...which, by the way, might just be my next signature...so dont anyone steal it! 
u know, how i'm all consumed with the whole masturbation thing.....

this one almost tops "masturbation is not a crime"

masturbation is only a sin when there's no one around to take the pics!

i dont know. maybe u had to be there.  

I was gonna steal it and use it for my own, but on second thought, if I used it, it would probably cause me more grief than anything.

[boanna]

I was gonna steal it and use it for my own, but on second thought, if I used it, it would probably cause me more grief than anything.