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> Ask Comedyman, let him impart wit, wisdom and f words

COMEDYMAN
post Aug 27 2007, 05:30 PM
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Ask me any question you want. I will answer it to the best of my ability with my twisted wisdom. 2thumbs.gif


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Bobaloo
post Aug 27 2007, 06:56 PM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 27 2007, 05:30 PM)
Ask me any question you want.  I will answer it to the best of my ability with my twisted wisdom. 2thumbs.gif
*


What is DamnYankee's phone number and address?


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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 27 2007, 08:47 PM
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Aug 27 2007, 06:56 PM)
What is DamnYankee's phone number and address?
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Such a question can only be answered thusly......

" If she ain't give it to you , then looks like you ain't gettin it, scrub!!!"

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evade20
post Aug 27 2007, 10:10 PM
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Aug 27 2007, 06:56 PM)
What is DamnYankee's phone number and address?
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Good question, though! 2thumbs.gif laughing-smiley-017.gif


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ddd35
post Aug 28 2007, 09:31 AM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 27 2007, 03:30 PM)
Ask me any question you want.  I will answer it to the best of my ability with my twisted wisdom. 2thumbs.gif
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Can the male sperm really climb ? SO like when Bob spanks his monkey and shoots it on the toilet seat in the local Mcdonalds , can he really say hes had sex with the next person that sat down ?
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Bobaloo
post Aug 28 2007, 12:02 PM
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QUOTE(ddd35 @ Aug 28 2007, 09:31 AM)
Can  the male sperm really   climb  ?   SO like when Bob  spanks his monkey and shoots it on the toilet seat in the  local Mcdonalds  , can he really say hes had sex with the next person that sat down  ?
*


Why would I shoot a monkey after I've already spanked it? I mean, isn't the spanking punishment enough? And what did the monkey do in the first place? Did his behavior even warrant a spanking. I mean, usualy monkeys are very well-behaved.


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closeup
post Aug 28 2007, 04:12 PM
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This topic went downhill in 5 posts. Which is 3 more than I thought it would take.
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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 28 2007, 10:09 PM
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QUOTE(ddd35 @ Aug 28 2007, 09:31 AM)
Can  the male sperm really   climb  ?   SO like when Bob  spanks his monkey and shoots it on the toilet seat in the  local Mcdonalds  , can he really say hes had sex with the next person that sat down  ?
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I guess it depends on how well you wiped off the seat before you sat down....


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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 28 2007, 10:13 PM
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Aug 28 2007, 12:02 PM)
Why would I shoot a monkey after I've already spanked it?  I mean, isn't the spanking punishment enough?  And what did the monkey do in the first place?  Did his behavior even warrant a spanking.  I mean, usualy monkeys are very well-behaved.
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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 28 2007, 10:14 PM
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QUOTE(closeup @ Aug 28 2007, 04:12 PM)
This topic went downhill in 5 posts. Which is 3 more than I thought it would take.
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bondiguy
post Aug 29 2007, 06:33 AM
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WHy do bad things happen to good people?


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ddd35
post Aug 29 2007, 09:28 AM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 28 2007, 08:09 PM)
I guess it depends on how well you wiped off the seat before you sat down....
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Whew Im safe .. 2thumbs.gif
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ddd35
post Aug 29 2007, 09:29 AM
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does No really mean yes ?
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bntit
post Aug 29 2007, 06:56 PM
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QUOTE(Bobaloo @ Aug 28 2007, 12:02 PM)
Why would I shoot a monkey after I've already spanked it?  I mean, isn't the spanking punishment enough?  And what did the monkey do in the first place?  Did his behavior even warrant a spanking.  I mean, usualy monkeys are very well-behaved.
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OMFG.... laughing-smiley-014.gif laughing-smiley-014.gif laughing-smiley-014.gif

brilliant!!!!!
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evade20
post Aug 29 2007, 07:02 PM
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QUOTE(bntit @ Aug 29 2007, 06:56 PM)
OMFG.... brilliant!!!!!
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Will bntit sit on my face if I ask nicely? smilio09.gif smilio09.gif Hail.gif Hail.gif Hail.gif Hail.gif Hail.gif Hail.gif


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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 29 2007, 07:15 PM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Aug 29 2007, 06:33 AM)
WHy do bad things happen to good people?
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The cosmic event of shit dosn't discern between good and bad... when shit happens it just does. Doesn't matter if the person is angelic or evil. Its like a nun getting hit by a garbage truck or A dude getting his first BJ and finding out she is a post op trans-sexual.

When these events happen the question always pops up... why do bad things happen to good people?

When it happens to bad people we just say .. Fuck them.. they deserved it!! biggrin.gif


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evade20
post Aug 29 2007, 07:16 PM
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QUOTE(bntit @ Aug 29 2007, 07:13 PM)
well i hope not all tounge...wouldnt want my mouth to get bored during the ride... 11.gif  laughing-smiley-017.gif
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I'm very open to suggestions! 22.gif 03.gif smilio09.gif love-smiley-077.gif love-smiley-052.gif


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bntit
post Aug 29 2007, 07:17 PM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 29 2007, 07:15 PM)
The cosmic event of shit dosn't discern between good and bad... when shit happens it just does.  Doesn't matter if the person is angelic or evil.  Its like a nun getting hit by a garbage truck or A dude getting his first BJ and finding out she is a post op trans-sexual. 

When these events happen the question always pops up... why do bad things happen to good people?

When it happens to bad people we just say .. Fuck them.. they deserved it!! biggrin.gif
*




or we laugh real hard cuz when karma takes a chunk outta some douche bags ass...its generally a fucking riot!!!!
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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 29 2007, 07:18 PM
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QUOTE(evade20 @ Aug 29 2007, 07:02 PM)
Will bntit sit on my face if I ask nicely?  smilio09.gif  smilio09.gif  Hail.gif  Hail.gif  Hail.gif  Hail.gif  Hail.gif  Hail.gif
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yes she said ... but I went and deleted that harlequin romance that was developing in the thread laughing-smiley-017.gif


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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 29 2007, 07:19 PM
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QUOTE(ddd35 @ Aug 29 2007, 09:29 AM)
does No really mean yes  ?
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Ask any convicted rapist getting his asshole reamed in by Bubba laughing-smiley-017.gif


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evade20
post Aug 29 2007, 07:19 PM
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QUOTE(bntit @ Aug 29 2007, 07:17 PM)
or we laugh real hard cuz when karma takes a chunk outta some douche bags ass...its generally a fucking riot!!!!
*




2thumbs.gif I'm waiting for Karma to catch up with the douche bag in the oval office!!!



now back to the regular subject....i.e. sex.


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paybarraman
post Aug 30 2007, 02:13 AM
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If a train departs Chicago heading west at 45mph and another train departs Los Angeles heading east at 55mph, how long would it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? coz.gif


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aimee2
post Aug 30 2007, 02:42 AM
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QUOTE(paybarraman @ Aug 30 2007, 01:13 AM)
If a train departs Chicago heading west at 45mph and another train departs Los Angeles heading east at 55mph, how long would it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?     coz.gif
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It depends whether you suck it or bite it! nah.gif
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bondiguy
post Aug 30 2007, 04:00 AM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 30 2007, 10:15 AM)
The cosmic event of shit dosn't discern between good and bad... when shit happens it just does.  Doesn't matter if the person is angelic or evil.  Its like a nun getting hit by a garbage truck or A dude getting his first BJ and finding out she is a post op trans-sexual. 

When these events happen the question always pops up... why do bad things happen to good people?

When it happens to bad people we just say .. Fuck them.. they deserved it!! biggrin.gif
*



Ooohh ur good!


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bondiguy
post Aug 30 2007, 04:02 AM
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Why do beautiful women often date ugly men?


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aimee2
post Aug 30 2007, 04:08 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Aug 30 2007, 03:02 AM)
Why do beautiful women often date ugly men?
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To boost your confidence tongue.gif
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COMEDYMAN
post Aug 30 2007, 05:32 AM
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QUOTE(bondiguy @ Aug 30 2007, 04:02 AM)
Why do beautiful women often date ugly men?
*



Because women dig confidense in a man. And ugly dudes have to hone that skill to make up for their lack of being able to be seen without someone wincing.

Its a paralell to the question Why do woment date assholes. Plain and simple, the asshole walked up to them and asked them out.

Shes walking off with the asshole while looking over her shoulder wondering why that nice quiet guy didn't come over to her and ask her out.

Carpe diem when you see a pretty girl. No such thing as un-approachable.


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bondiguy
post Aug 30 2007, 07:02 AM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 30 2007, 08:32 PM)
Because women dig confidense in a man.  And ugly dudes have to hone that skill to make up for their lack of being able to be seen without someone wincing.

Its a paralell to the question Why do woment date assholes.  Plain and simple, the asshole walked up to them and asked them out. 

Shes walking off with the asshole while looking over her shoulder wondering why that nice quiet guy didn't come over to her and ask her out.

Carpe diem when you see a pretty girl. No such thing as un-approachable.
*



Mate you have all the answers.... and I am confident! tongue.gif


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ddd35
post Aug 30 2007, 09:33 AM
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QUOTE(COMEDYMAN @ Aug 29 2007, 05:19 PM)
Ask any convicted rapist getting his asshole reamed in by Bubba  laughing-smiley-017.gif
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I thought I had ? smile.gif
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ddd35
post Aug 30 2007, 09:35 AM
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IS it true that the person that dies with the most toys wins ?
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