Hey, how's things? Xx

Thanks, glad to be back x

Thanks Evade, i've missed it on here, i hope to be on a while now xx

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.........I'm a gynaecologist."

Just wishing you a happy birthday

Apologies if i've offended any men here, but I couldn't resist it !

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I'm in

Lost Prophets - To Hell we Ride

Yorkshire girls are the best!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they
had given their new wives duties to perform.


Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had
told his new wife to do all the dishes and house cleaning in the
house.

He said it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home
to a clean house and all the dishes were cleaned and put away.

James had married a woman from Australia and he bragged that he had
given his new wife orders to do all the cleaning, dishes and the
cooking.


He told them the first day he didn't see any results, but the next
day it was better and by the third day his house was clean, the
dishes done and there was a huge meal on the table.

The third man said the he had married a Yorkshire
girl. He boasted that the duties he had ordered her to do were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on
the table every day.


He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he
didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had
gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye. Enough
to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a
landscaper.

Ok, ok I get the message thanks



More than likely, exactly the same as what you do to me
Rabbit wants to know if dolphin wants to play out !!!!

Not quite in the same league as Summoner, but oh well !!
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Anyone tried using Opera, it works a dream for me !

I'm listening to the neighbours having one hell of an argument

At the moment, Marian by the Sisters Of Mercy

The priest in a small village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.

One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up !

No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?"

Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

Thanks all you guys for the nice birthday wishes
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Well, I think you should get bored a little more often

I am , and you're welcome

3d..

Is this one of those phone things you've all been on about ?

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So am I........now

There's flashing signs for about 150 yards before the bollards, plus it's painted on the road before you get to them. If anyone can't see the signs they shouldn't even be on the road if they're eyes are that bad !. I say it serves the f**kers right

Not sure if this should be in here, but what the hell.
This is one of the funniest Videos I've seen for ages.

The council in Manchester England installed some retractable bollards to stop people using bus lanes. It's causing a bit of uproar with the public

Click on the link to find out why...

PS keep an eye on the windscreen of the white van right at the end ...

http://www.biertijd.com/mediaplayer/flvpla...rt=true&fs=true

WHY MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


WHAT DO YOU EXPECT WHEN:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.
Your underwear is £1.99 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24
in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

I don't think I worded that right !

New one from my bf !
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